Theodore Rex

- Released 1995, Theodore Rex starring Whoopi Goldberg was the cause of an unprecedented exodus of Bog Folk from The Bog. Shortly after the film’s release, a rumor began to circulate throughout The Bog. Believed to have originated in The Hound and Thistle Pub, the rumor claimed that halfway through the movie the main character, Theodore Rex, bends over and his butt-hole slowly opens, allowing viewers to take a look inside. Needless to say this rumor was false, however Bog Folk had no reason to think that this information was hearsay, and began traveling to the outside world in order to view this film in theaters.

While most people were not aware of the source of these stumbling vagrants, multiple newspapers reported a so-called “Christmas Stink,” as a result of the Bog Folk’s abysmal hygiene and fully-loaded diapers. Several theaters were cleared out as a result of the smell. The Bog Folk also introduced a number of pathogens and diseases into several small towns, causing severe illnesses to spread rapidly.

As more and more Bog Folk learned that the rumor was false and Theodore Rex does not in fact spread his butt-hole at any time throughout the course of the film, they took to the streets attacking bystanders at random and starting fires. Richard Lemming himself was spotted wielding a machete and wearing a garland of severed heads around his neck. It wasn’t long before the National Guard moved in and opened fire on what local media was calling a “zombie outbreak.” Despite the publicity, news of these events was swept under the rug as soon as the Bog Folk were frightened back into the woods.